Basically my oral exam (hyuk hyuk) is tomorrow afternoon and I am screwed. (HYUK HYUK) This is a ten minute interview in which they drill me about the life and times of 張天明, the douchebag protagonist of my goddamn Mandarin textbook. During the test I can't say a single word in English and there's a limit to how many times I can ask them to repeat a question. The limit is once. And seriously, this guy such an asshole. He spends an entire fucking chapter lecturing his friends about how he only buys Adidas, because he cannot bear to wear inferior brands. You think I'm kidding? This is one of the passages I have to memorize:
張天明：買東西，我只買好的，名牌的，要不然就不買。因為名牌的衣服質量好。有的衣服Do you see? And not just the fact that, woah, Chinese is a language of brevity. My final is about this guy and I hate him more than anything on earth at this point, pretty much. At this time I would also note that I basically ended up in the Chinese program by some malicious twist of fate because only a complete idiot would do this to themselves on purpose. I have no idea why I'm even going to Taiwan, I'm clearly just going to get laughed outta there.
Zhang Tianming: When it comes to shopping, I only buy good things, famous brands, or else I don't buy anything. Famous brand clothes are good quality. There are clothes that are, yes, cheap, but once you wear them once or twice, you never want to wear them anymore, so you are forced (?!) to buy something else. So buying two articles of clothing is even more expensive than buying just one expensive brand.