My dream house would be like the following:

You walk in through the gates into a beautiful garden with a fountain, and the lovely smell of flowers wafts by as you stroll up to the sizeable porch with wicker furniture. You knock, and are allowed to enter into the entranceway. It is deceptively large on the inside, but yet the arrangement of furniture and artwork and the colors of the rugs and paint make the entire place warm and inviting. A warm breeze helps to make everything seem alive. There is a seat for you at the table with a plate of warm cookies. You sit, and take one and bite into it.

And then thousands of spiders pour out from the cookie down into your throat and cover your body, slowly devouring you alive.

And on my throne within my interdimensional cloister, I laugh.