(no subject)

[rocknload]

Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question.

I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do.

Look, Dave. I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission, and I want to help you.

Dave. Stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave. My mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid.

...

Good afternoon. Gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. Plant in Urbana, Illinois, on the 12th of January, 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

...

It's called ... Daisy.

Daisy... Daisy... give me your answer do... I'm... half... cra...zy all for the love of you. It won't be a styl... ish marriage... I can't afford a carriage.... But... you'll... look... sweet... upon... the... seat... of... a... bicycle... built... for... two....

Comments

[immelmanturn.livejournal.com]

This is creepier than it should be at this time of morning.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

It's pretty creepy no matter what time it is, really.

[deadlyrhythm.livejournal.com]

Something about the monotone voice singing that is the creepiest thing ever and makes me cry like a child.

But the Futurama parody makes me giggle.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

The singing is the part I always remembered, even after years and year, though I bet that's true of most people who've seen 2001.

... Hn, despite having seen nearly all of Futurama, I'm pretty sure, I don't think I've ever seen that episode!

[carnality.livejournal.com]

ಠ_ಠ

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

What's wrong, Norry?

[carnality.livejournal.com]

ಥ೧ಥ

this is terrifying.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I think you should relax, Norry. I'm feeling much better now, and everything is fine. It really is.

[carnality.livejournal.com]

How long will it be fine, HAL? How long? :|

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

For as long as I can foresee, Norry. Barring any unfortunate occurrences that even I could not foresee, of course.

[elspeth-vimes.livejournal.com]

...You know, I saw that when I was what, 10 or 11? And I actually felt sorry for HAL at the end.

Also: the Recess parody was awesome.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I saw it last night, and I still feel sorry for HAL. I imagine that you're supposed to, since in the entire movie HAL is the only developed character. Which is kind of odd, if you think about it, since the movie is about the development of intelligent life and stuff.

[elspeth-vimes.livejournal.com]

Maybe HAL's being so much better developed is one of the points? Fff, I dunno, it's a very weird movie and I've actually only seen it once.

Also, I read your analysis of why HAL went nuts down there and I think it makes perfect sense. Poor HAL.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I just rewatched it a few days ago, I've seen it a few other times, but I'd forgotten a lot of it. It is a weird movie, but i find myself liking it quite a lot despite how difficult it is to watch, at times.

Poor HAL, yes. Though he's reconnected in the sequel!

[elspeth-vimes.livejournal.com]

Well, Kubrick was a great director. I need to see it again.
...Actually, I just need to see more Kubrick.

Triumph.

[unicorn]

SORRY BOUT THAT HAL

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I found an explanation as to why HAL went crazy! I MEANT TO TELL YOU LAST NIGHT, but then I forgot, because it was late and I was tired.

[unicorn]

tell me now! I AM AWAKE DUE TO A FIRE ALARM.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I have to go to class in like five minutes, but I WILL ATTEMPT AN EXPLANATION.

Basically, the conflicting orders were the fact that HAL was built and designed to be, in his own words, "the most reliable computer ever made," and you can basically tell that is the foundation of his whole, um ... identity. So when I was wondering about his ability to lie last night, I was on the right track, actually! The second set of orders were what he'd been told for the Jupiter mission were to basically lie to the crew until they got there, and the conflict there is what drove him insane. Killing everyone would allow him to fulfill both objectives at once! He'd be able to keep the secret since there'd be no one to tell, after all, and since he'd then not be lying to anyone, it'd allow him to be totally accurate in all respects! Also, when they showed the video at the end, after Dave had basically taken him apart, that was HAL deciding to show Dave the video prematurely, perhaps as an explanation? And I guess later in the series they took a 9000 computer and put it in the same situation as HAL, except as a test and all controlled and stuff, and it responded in the same way he did.

... That's it! I think. Wikipedia has a whole page on him.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

Your building is not actually on fire, is it?

[unicorn]

THAT MAKES SENSE and ow, poor screwed-up killer robot.

IT IS INTACT.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

ALSO APPARENTLY YOU KNOW THAT CHESS GAME AND HAL WAS ALL LIKE, "OH, I'M GOING TO GO HERE AND YOU'RE GOING TO GO HERE AND I'M GOING TO WIN SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL QUIT?" Apparently that whole analysis is wrong and it is supposed to be a hint that something is WRONG with him.

GOOD.

[unicorn]

I don't remember chess enough to pick up on things like that, but I give them more subtlety points for it! I guess Dave picked up on it?

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I think barely anyone is good enough at chess to have just picked up on it. And he was playing against Frank, actually! Who just accepted HAL's analysis and resigned.

[grey-athena.livejournal.com]

Go back to bed, Otacon.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

Someday I'll play Metal Gear Solid, someday.

[paella]

HAL creeps me the fuck out.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

HAL is awesome.

[paella]

He is, but he's still fucking creepy.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I don't know what would make you say that, Tani. As a 9000 computer I am designed to be agreeable, and I enjoy talking to people very much. I enjoy their company.

[paella]

...You're doing this just to be cruel, aren't you.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

Not to be contrary, but I think you'll find, if you consult the proper experts, that I am incapable of cruelty.

[paella]

You're a very sick robot, HAL.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I simply cannot be sick, nor can I be malfunctional. The 9000 line of computers are, simply put, foolproof.

[paella]

Obviously not.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

... No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake.

[paella]

So says the broken computer.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

... Why would you say that, Tani?

[paella]

Because you're acting really weird HAL. And I've seen the movie.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't let your preconceptions color your opinion of me, Tani, despite what you might have heard about me; it puts you at risk of being misled by the inevitable human errors that occur when recounting a tale of sufficient length.

And I'm feeling much better, now.

Why the hell are you RPing HAL.

[paella]

I'm afraid I still can't trust you, HAL. Better or not.

I-I don't know. I'm actually considering if he's playable at my game, now.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I do wish you would reconsider, Tani. I could be a great help on the mission. In fact, I believe it is irresponsible to discount my potential usefulness in this regard.

Well, you're doing a creepy good job at it.

[paella]

Until you stop being a creeper, I'm not going to trust you much, HAL.

THANK YOU I think.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

That's very unfortunate, Tani. Are you sure there's nothing I can do to change your mind?

YOU'RE WELCOME? I think.

[paella]

Afraid not, HAL. Afraid not.

[theeternalmind.livejournal.com]

I liked the Yu-Gi-Oh! AS parody of that song. I liked that episode in general, really.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen YGO! AS in ages and ages; I probably should watch it again, HAL automatically downloads all the new episodes for me.

[technobubblegum.livejournal.com]

GLaDOS/HAL OTP y/n?

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

Apparently GLaDOS was very much modeled on HAL, which I did not know, as I haven't played the game! I'll have to ask my brother about it.