I'm of two minds about Ben AU fics....on the one hand, it's a great playground, but on the other, I really don't think that he's Dean's son. But without the biological link, there's no real reason for Dean to continue to connect to Ben (though it would be interesting to read fics in which he does, anyway - almost like a Big Brother kind of deal).
I liked Ben's initial anger and their relationship as pen pals. I thought that the emotions were handled well, and the case was sketchy, but since you're going from Ben's perspective, that's okay. I liked Ben trying to figure things out on his own, though I thought perhaps he could have discovered a few more truths before going to Dean for the confirmation.
One thing that I thought was lacking is that if I hadn't read the summary, I wouldn't have known that you were choosing to reveal Dean as Ben's actual father. I didn't expect a lot of emotional bonding about it, but Ben doesn't spend any time thinking about that at all, and that didn't necessarily work for me. There's one or two cryptic references and the rest reads more like he's looking to Dean as an adult role model, but not necessarily a father.
Do you intend to continue? I like that it ends on an unresolved note, where neither we nor Ben are certain that Dean will call, but the last sentence feels "tacked on." We don't need it to know that Ben emulates Dean and eschews "girly" feelings. If it were to be continued, oddly, I'd not have such a "meh" reaction to the final sentence/paragraph. As a standalone, I think it would have ended just a little bit stronger without it.
But overall, this was a good examination of Ben coming to get the truth.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 06:47 pm (UTC)I'm of two minds about Ben AU fics....on the one hand, it's a great playground, but on the other, I really don't think that he's Dean's son. But without the biological link, there's no real reason for Dean to continue to connect to Ben (though it would be interesting to read fics in which he does, anyway - almost like a Big Brother kind of deal).
I liked Ben's initial anger and their relationship as pen pals. I thought that the emotions were handled well, and the case was sketchy, but since you're going from Ben's perspective, that's okay. I liked Ben trying to figure things out on his own, though I thought perhaps he could have discovered a few more truths before going to Dean for the confirmation.
One thing that I thought was lacking is that if I hadn't read the summary, I wouldn't have known that you were choosing to reveal Dean as Ben's actual father. I didn't expect a lot of emotional bonding about it, but Ben doesn't spend any time thinking about that at all, and that didn't necessarily work for me. There's one or two cryptic references and the rest reads more like he's looking to Dean as an adult role model, but not necessarily a father.
Do you intend to continue? I like that it ends on an unresolved note, where neither we nor Ben are certain that Dean will call, but the last sentence feels "tacked on." We don't need it to know that Ben emulates Dean and eschews "girly" feelings. If it were to be continued, oddly, I'd not have such a "meh" reaction to the final sentence/paragraph. As a standalone, I think it would have ended just a little bit stronger without it.
But overall, this was a good examination of Ben coming to get the truth.