[Fic: Tales of Symphonia] "Crossings"
Nov. 21st, 2008 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rocknloadTitle: Crossings
Fandom: Tales of Symphonia
Rating: PG13
Words: 5600
Summary: [one shot] Pre-game; on the road to Luin, the Aurion family’s trip takes a detour.
Author’s Notes: The first part of this was written years ago, I edited it for typos and attempted to write the last scene in the same (honestly, kind ofstrange corny) style I used for the first ones. I actually posted the first part of this ages ago, with plans to post the second part within a couple days, and, uh, well. Here it is! ^__^
*
To say the road from Asgard to Luin was long would be a terrible understatement; to say the trip was arduous would be closer to the fact. Anna had spent more of the past several years on such journeys, she was well used to traveling with husband and son.
But there were days when it was… tiring.
Days like today, when nearly two hours of blessed silence were about to come to a close.
The child was slow to wake; he blinked slowly and yawned. “I wanna be down.” Getting no response, he frowned. “Papa, let me dooooown.”
Lloyd had started the morning off cheerful and well behaved. After the first mile and a half, his energy waned and he’d started dragging his feet. Kratos had picked him up, ignoring protests that Lloyd could walk by himself, and the boy had cried bitterly about the unfairness of the world for ten straight minutes before falling asleep on his father’s shoulder.
Where he’d stayed, until now. “Let me down.” Lloyd squirmed and shoved, and just for emphasis, whined, “Doooooown.”
The sound set off Noishe, who started barking at the spectacle, and Anna and Kratos both had to stop to sort the situation out. Anna scratched the animal behind the ears while Kratos struggled to pin Lloyd’s pinwheeling arms – without success. Exasperated, he set the child on the ground. “Stay near,” he warned.
Lloyd nodded, and then he darted off to the left. Anna caught his hand as he ran past.
“Near is here, honey,” she said.
“No.”
“Lloyd.”
“No!”
Kratos scowled, glanced up and down the path. Even this small delay was trying his nerves, and that was worth noting. His patience rarely wore so thin. “He’s too loud.”
“We left at dawn,” Anna said. “He’s tired.”
“He’s old enough to control himself.”
“Some of us do need sleep, Kratos.”
It was a comment her husband did not appreciate; he clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. “There is a House of Salvation we will reach before dark, if we keep moving.”
“And we will.” Still holding Lloyd’s hand, she knelt down. “Honey, if you run too far away, you might get hurt.”
Lloyd looked doubtful “How?”
“One can only imagine,” Kratos said, darkly. “Anna, arguing with him is a pointless exercise we do not—”
Anna silenced him with a look, then turned back to Lloyd. “There are bad animals. There might be bad people.” She squeezed his hand. “Will you promise to walk by us?”
Lloyd thought about that, his little brow furrowed. Then he nodded. “I wanna walk by Mama,” he said. “Papa’s mean.”
“Very true,” Kratos replied.
Anna sighed. She had more control than a child of barely three, but she was also operating on precious little sleep and was starting to feel the strain. Lloyd upset, Noishe whining in her ear, and now Kratos snapping at every little thing – it was getting to be too much. “That’s not true,” she said. “Apologize, Lloyd.”
Lloyd jerked free and ran several meters up the path. Noishe bounded after him, and Lloyd cheerfully pet the animal and pointedly ignored both of his parents.
“Lloyd…” Anna started forward, but Kratos shook his head.
“Let him be,” he said.
Lloyd was bored with that activity in another instant, and he began walking an imaginary tightrope, extending his arms to his sides. “Put-ah-put-ah-put-ah—”
Anna could see Kratos cringe, either at Lloyd’s antics or Noishe’s noisy accompaniment, but neither of them said anything as they fell into step behind the boy. Kratos’ eyes never once left Lloyd, who kept casting sullen glances back at his father and jerking back around every time he was caught at it.
Anna looked at Kratos for a long moment, and then she laughed lightly. “He hurt your feelings, didn’t he?”
Kratos snorted. “He’s just a child.”
“Yes, but he’s yours.”
Kratos opened his mouth and shut it again.
“Kratos, tell me what’s wrong.” If he took that as a request, then he hadn’t known her long enough.
He was silent for a long moment, Anna recognized that he was collecting his thoughts and she gave him the time he needed. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm and deliberate. “The House of Salvation is a small community. We can rest there for some time.”
She waited.
“It’s a place devoted to helping people in need.”
Anna suspected she knew that better than him – Kratos certainly understood the mechanics of the Church of Martel, but for the most part he seemed strangely out of touch with the religion he had helped author. “Yes,” she said, forcing a patience she didn’t really feel. “I know.”
“They will take children.”
At first she was sure she had misheard him, and then she was sure she had just misunderstood. But the look on his face told her everything she needed to know. “No—Kratos, no. How could you even think—”
“Anna, people are trying to kill us. You and I. We’re putting him in danger everyday.”
“Is that why you’re being so nasty? Do you think he won’t care that you’ve gone?”
Guilt flashed across his face, and she wished she could take her words back. “I’m not sure there’s another way,” he said.
Anna shook her head. “I can’t live with him thinking we didn’t want him.”
“And I can’t live with him dead.”
“Kratos, we can’t just abandon our son.”
“We are not—” Kratos stopped short.
Anna followed his downward gaze, realized that Lloyd had stopped walking and was now standing at Kratos’ feet, that in the midst of their argument they hadn’t noticed their own rising voices – or anything else.
Lloyd stared up at them, looking so helpless and so hurt Anna knew that even he hadn’t understood their entire conversation, he’d managed to catch enough.
“Lloyd…” She knelt down.
He spun around and went tearing off into the forest.
“Lloyd, stop!” Kratos started a second too late, before he could reach him the boy had vanished into the dense line of tree. Anna jumped to her feet and followed them both.
“Lloyd!” Kratos barked, staring into the woods, then he jerked around. “Noishe—” But Noishe was nowhere to be seen. “Where is that damn—”
“Kratos…” Anna didn’t have his vision but she peered into the trees anyway. There was no glimpse of a red shirt or brown hair, and she couldn’t hear anything except the bubbling of the river than ran nearby.
“We’ll search separately,” Kratos said. “Once we find him—”
“We have to talk to him about—”
“I know,” he said, and he started off without another word.
*
Papa could hear real real well – Lloyd knew because whenever he tried to hide before Papa always found him, really fast. But this time he would be still and be quiet. Maybe so quiet they would never find him, and then they would be so sorry.
Or not.
Lloyd shut his eyes and huddled at the base of the big huge tree he’d found. It was near the river and he knew that was bad because rivers were Not Safe. Mama and Papa thought everything was Not Safe and Lloyd couldn’t go anywhere by himself because of the Not Safe plants and Not Safe animals and the bad people that were hiding everywhere.
He didn’t really understand but he knew that Papa wanted to go away and maybe take Mama with him – and they would go away and he would be alone and maybe the bad people would come again and he would maybe even die.
His eyes started hurting and he started breathing real fast but he couldn’t cry because then Papa would find him and—
“Lloyd! Lloyd!”
That was Papa. He sounded so so mad.
Lloyd shrank against the tree and tried to be really small and wished Noishe was here too, but he’d run away when Lloyd was running too and now he wasn’t anywhere. Papa was coming and smashing down plants and saying words Lloyd got in trouble for copying one time, and just when Lloyd was just sure he was going to be found and in trouble, Papa stopped walking.
“Lloyd,” he said. He was close, probably. Lloyd didn’t know if he was real real close because the river was too loud to hear good. “Lloyd, I’m not angry.”
Even if he was really not mad and was really not lying Lloyd was going to stay hiding.
“Lloyd, please come out.”
Lloyd covered his mouth with his hands and wished his Papa would go away.
It took a long time, but Papa took a step back, and after another long time he’d gone back the way he came from. Lloyd waited until it was all quiet, and then he fell back against the tree and sighed. And then he cringed, because maybe Papa could hear.
But he didn’t come back.
When he was sure Papa wasn’t coming back ever, Lloyd stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants and his shirt and it didn’t even matter if he was dirty, because now he was running away and no one would be telling him to wash his face all the time.
He didn’t know how he was going to live now but maybe the forest would be okay, if the monsters didn’t eat him or anything. He never saw any monsters before so maybe there weren’t any monsters and Mama and Papa just made that up so they—so they—
His eyes were burning again and he almost didn’t hear the walking noises behind him. He did hear it, though, and he turned round as fast as he could.
“Noishe!”
It was hard to be sad when Noishe was licking him on his face and on his arms, and Lloyd fell down. Noishe kept licking him.
“Noishe, stop it!” Lloyd giggled, and he was still sad, but Noishe kept licking him and he couldn’t stop laughing anyway. “Noishe!”
Noishe barked, right in Lloyd’s ear, and jumped up.
“Lloyd!”
That was Mama, and she already saw him so he couldn’t go and hide or anything. Well, he could, but that’d be stupid. Noishe ran over there as soon as he could see her, barking and his tail wagging. He wanted petting but Mama was ignoring him.
Lloyd rubbed his face where Noishe drool was stuck on it. “Hi, Mama,” he said real quiet, looking at the ground and not at her face.
Mama was real fast. She walked over and picked Lloyd up and he hated that, but he knew he couldn’t get away. “Don’t do that,” Mama said, and she sounded so mad, too. “Lloyd, don’t ever do that.”
Lloyd already knew he was being Not Safe. “Sorry.” His eyes kept burning, and this time he couldn’t help it. He started crying.
He thought Mama would yell more, but she touched his hair and face and hugged him. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she said. “I’m not mad at you, I was worried.”
Lloyd cried harder. “But I s—saw Papa, he s—s—said—”
“Your father isn’t mad at you, honey, he’s upset because of something else.”
Lloyd sniffed. “How come?” he asked even if he didn’t care, he was only wondering.
Mama looked at him, and then she closed her eyes. “Lloyd…”
“Well, you two certainly aren’t traveling alone.”
Mama jumped.
Lloyd didn’t hear anyone coming but there were people here anyway, lots of people, he counted and he saw seven. The one talking was the tallest one, he was standing in front and they all had swords like Papa’s except not like fire. “Well,” he said. “Should I keep an eye out for a party? Maybe a husband?”
Mama was hugging him so much he couldn’t even breathe, and she used her mad voice when she said, “Stay away from us.”
The tall man smiled.
Lloyd wanted them to go away, if Mama wanted them to go so did he. “Who are you guys?” he said, and he made his maddest face.
The tall man smiled more.
*
Anna could defend herself but knew she was no match for seven armed men; the struggle wasn’t much to speak of. The bandits ripped Lloyd out of her arms in a moment and had a sword at her neck before she could call for help.
One of them, obviously their leader, stepped forward and looked her over with interest. He was tall, not the strongest by any means. but he had a look of calculating intelligence the others lacked. “Hmm,” he said. “Should I be worried?”
“Yes,” she answered, her voice flat.
“Lemme go, lemme go!”
Lloyd was a ball of flailing arms and legs, he was kicking and biting and screaming his head off. One man was trying to hold him down and another was trying to grab his legs – the second man’s head snapped back when Lloyd landed a solid kick in the face.
He stumbled back, holding his bleeding nose. “Son of a—”
“Just—gag him or something!”
Anna tensed. “Give him back to me,” she said. “I’ll—”
The leader waved her off. “I’ll handle this, lady,” he said, smiling calmly, reassuringly. He stepped forward, narrowly avoiding Lloyd’s fierce kicks, and slapped the boy across the face.
“Stop it!” The sword kept Anna in place, the tip of the blade biting into her neck.
Lloyd had never been hit in his life, no matter how badly he behaved. He fell silent and still, his eyes wide in shock. He wasn’t even crying, anymore.
The leader stepped back. “There,” he said. “Problem solved.”
Anna was shaking with rage, and she knew her captors would take that for fear. She didn’t care. “Honey, it’s okay, everything’s okay,” she said, doing her best to swallow her anger, and keep her voice reassuring. “Can you stay still for me?”
Lloyd sniffed and nodded.
“Well,” the leader said. “Shall we wait?”
Anna glared.
“Boss!”
The cry came from the bandit furthest away, and the edge of the clearing. The entire group jerked around just in time to see the man go down in a bloody mess, slashes across his chest and throat.
Kratos stepped forward, holding Flamberge and wearing an expression so cold it gave Anna chills.
The leader paled slightly, and scratched the back of his head. “That was quick,” he muttered, almost to himself.
Kratos took a few menacing steps. “Let them go.”
“Stop!” The leader gestured at Lloyd, at Anna. The blade at her neck was very nearly drawing blood. “Drop the sword,” he said. “Or we’ll kill them.”
Kratos didn’t move to obey, but he didn’t move forward, either. Nothing on his face betrayed any conflict; he seemed to be calmly observing the situation as his eyes passed back and forth. Anna knew he was torn. Kratos could easily defeat the men here, he’d already killed one of them with little effort. But she wasn’t sure he could kill them before they made good on their promise.
She couldn’t say what the best decision was. She didn’t know.
“Drop it!”
Kratos stared at the leader for several long seconds, and then he tossed his weapon on the ground.
The bandits visibly relaxed, chuckling among themselves, as if being unarmed meant Kratos was harmless. “Now,” the leader said. “I’m sure you have some valuables in that pack of yours. Mind sharing?”
“If you harm them…” Kratos started.
The leader cocked his head, and Anna saw something move in the corner of her eye.
“Anna!”
Red flashed across her vision and she stumbled to her knees – it took a moment to register she’d been hit. Instinctively, she reached up to touch her temple, and gasped at the pain. Her fingers came away bloody.
Lloyd started struggling again, tears were running down his face. “—you hurt Mama, you hurt Mama—”
“Lloyd!” Kratos barked.
Lloyd stopped kicking, stopped shrieking, stopped everything.
“Now,” the leader said, but Kratos was already reaching for his shoulder straps.
The pack contained everything the family owned; Kratos threw it on the ground without hesitation. The value of the smaller bag that followed was much more substantial – that contained all of their gald. It was enough to purchase a mansion, and it hit the ground with a heavy clank.
The bandits hesitated, their eyes fixed on the loot.
Kratos scowled. “Take it all.”
That’s all they needed.
Anna tried to watch them as they moved, but her vision was blurring and the blood was coming fast, trickling down her neck and staining her shirt. She had a concussion, certainly. If that was the worst thing to happen today, they’d be lucky.
“Boss?”
Anna looked up.
The leader was standing stock still as the other men riffled through the heavy pack, tossing aside useless things like clothing and small jars of food. The bag of money was resting in his hand, and he was thinking.
“Boss?” one of the men asked again, sounding uncertain.
The leader shoved the bag into his pocket, his eyes on his dead companion, lying still at the edge of the clearing. “Let’s go,” he snapped. “This is all we need. Take the sword.”
The men stepped back, taking the sword with them. “Yeah, sure,” one of them said. He moved to put Lloyd down, and Anna felt like crying in relief.
“No.” The leader shook his head. “We’re taking him.”
Anna’s breath caught in her throat. “You can’t—no.” She tried to push herself to her feet and failed miserably, the fall jolted her from her knees to her spine. “Kratos, stop them—you can’t let them—”
“What good do you think that will do you?” Kratos asked, his voice so cold, his face completely blank.
The leader shrugged. “It’s a lot of gald,” he said, as if that explained everything. Did he really think Kratos would risk their lives to recover the money? “Don’t follow us, and we’ll drop the brat off in the next town.”
Kratos said nothing.
“Do follow us, and, well.”
Kratos didn’t say a thing. He was silent when Lloyd broke out into loud, uneven sobs; he was silent as the bandits started vanishing, disappearing into the trees just as quickly as they’d come. In a moment, Lloyd was out of earshot.
Anna couldn’t believe how fast it was over. She felt numb. She struggled to stand again, and didn’t even notice Kratos was beside her until he put his hands on her shoulders.
“Let me see that,” he said.
She jerked away, and lost her balance. She would have fallen if Kratos hadn’t caught her, gently lowering her back to her knees.
“You’re badly hurt.”
She knew that. It’s why she didn’t resist when Kratos tilted her head to get a better look at the wound, it’s why she didn’t protest when he pressed a soft cloth to her skull. Instead, she hissed.
“The pain should pass.”
He was speaking with such calm deliberation, as if nothing was the matter. She couldn’t understand his reaction. In fact, she hadn’t understood anything he’d done in the last few minutes, and that realization was all it took for her to direct all the anger she felt onto him.
“Why didn’t you stop them?” she demanded.
“You could have been killed.”
“And you think that matters?”
“I do.” He fell silent, dabbing at the cut on her temple. She couldn’t even tell if it was still bleeding. “I’ve made many mistakes over this past hour,” he said, finally. “You are right to blame me.”
And just like that, her anger faded. She looked away. “No, I wasn’t.”
Kratos sat back. “Can you hold this here?” he asked, referring to the makeshift bandage.
She nodded, ignoring how the motion jarred her head, and she replaced his hand with her own. The cloth was warm with her blood, and the feeling was a little sickening.
“I think I’ve given them long enough,” he said, standing, and for the first time, she saw clear hesitation on his face. “Anna, I promise—”
She cut him off. “Kratos, I know you’ll do everything in your power to get him back. You don’t have to swear a thing.”
He nodded, and turned his head. “Noishe!” he called.
The animal poked his head around a tree, his ears folded back. Anna hadn’t even noticed that he’d run away – not that she blamed him. He was an intelligent creature, but there’d been nothing he could do.
“Noishe, stay with Anna. I’ll… I’ll return soon.”
“Be careful,” Anna said.
He looked like he wanted to say something. Instead, he turned and walked straight into the forest.
Anna sighed.
Noishe rubbed his nose up against her face. He whimpered, and wagged his tail. His wide eyes looked far more expressive than most people, maybe even Kratos, would give him credit for.
She reached up, and scratched the creature behind the ears. “You can follow him,” she said. “I won’t tell.”
*
Kratos had no immediate plan. This bothered him immensely, as did the fact that he wasn’t thinking clearly enough to come up with one. He thought he could hear the group moving, perhaps a few minutes ahead of him, though the noise of the damned river was drowning out nearly everything.
He had probably passed within a few feet of Lloyd only minutes ago. If he’d managed to find him then, this wouldn’t have happened.
Then again, if he hadn’t caused Lloyd to run off in the first place…
Kratos set his jaw and moved forward.
He had no idea how he intended to fight them without a sword. His magic would help, and he knew how to fight with his fists – however, his odds would be best if he had the element of surprise. If he was lucky, he might manage to take a weapon from one of his opponents.
Kratos was not often lucky.
Perhaps that was why he was surprised to catch up with them so quickly.
He had no idea why they would decide to take a break so quickly, but there they were – the six of them standing at the bank of the river, talking quietly amongst themselves. Lloyd was, of course, crying inconsolably.
Their apparent leader, a tall, slender man who carried no weapons himself, was talking the loudest. Not loud enough for Kratos to make out what he was saying, but he kept gesturing at Lloyd and the man carrying him.
Kratos had no doubts that they intended to kill the boy. If he was going to act, it would have to be now.
He stepped into the clearing, chanting under his breath. By the time they heard him, and jerked around, it was too late.
“Grave!”
A pillar of earth that emerged from the ground didn’t hit anyone, but that hadn’t been his intention. It showered the bandits with dirt and rocks, it confused and disoriented them.
Kratos ran forward.
He was faster than these men and much, much stronger. He grabbed the sword arm of the one nearest to him and twisted, disarming the bandit would be simple, and then—
“Papa!”
He knew it was a trick. And he still looked.
He didn’t know what they’d done to Lloyd to make him scream like that. He didn’t have a chance to figure it out, either, because that was the moment they stabbed him in the back.
It wasn’t a deep wound. It still caused him to stumble forward, and the men quickly converged on him, dragging him down and using their weight to hold him there. He struggled to push himself out, despite the sword still twisting in his back, but he knew it was no use. It wasn’t a deep wound, but his strength was running out with his blood.
The leader crouched down in front of him, and sat back on his heels. “Strange,” he said. “You don’t look like a half-elf.”
Kratos didn’t bother correcting him.
“I told you what would happen if you followed.”
Suddenly, he didn’t even notice the pain in his back – it’d been replaced with the sick sinking feeling in his chest. He could threaten them, he could try to bargain, he could even beg. He knew it wouldn’t change anything.
“I’ll kill you all,” he growled, and that was different. It was a promise.
The leader raised his eyebrow. “Interesting,” he said, and then he turned his head. “Anis?”
“Yeah, boss?” The man was awkwardly holding Lloyd as far away from himself as he could manage.
The leader stood. “Drown his brat in the river.”
The silence stretched out to nearly a minute.
“Boss?” Anis asked.
“You heard me.”
Anis hesitated, and then he walked down to the water. He paused again, clearly not sure about how to go about this. Then he waded into the shallow water and got down onto his knees.
Kratos watched as a kicking screaming sobbing helpless child that was his son was shoved under the water.
“No!” he yelled, and in his head that was all he could hear. No no no no no – his struggles started again, the sword was shoved deeper into his back and that didn’t matter. What mattered was the scene playing out in front of his eyes in slow motion and terrible silence.
He was watching Lloyd die.
A branch snapped behind them.
Someone was coming. Kratos jerked his head around as far as he was able, and he caught sight of green and cyan fur.
“What the hell is that?!” someone shouted.
Noishe snarled, and leapt forward.
Kratos felt the weight on his shoulders lift as the men jumped – he shoved off the ground and onto his feet. One of the bandits might have slashed him, he couldn’t even tell.
He reached out and grabbed the first weapon he saw, and wrenched it away to the sound of breaking bone.
“What are you doing?!” the leader shouted.
Kratos didn’t pay him the slightest attention.
The four men were dead before they hit the ground. Kratos paused only long enough to make sure they weren’t getting up again, then he started for the bank.
Anis was still kneeling, his eyes and mouth were wide open. “Wait—” he started.
His head sailed down the river, his body slumped under the surface.
Kratos threw the sword behind him and plunged his hands into the river. In a moment he pulled Lloyd up.
For an awful moment, the boy was lay still in his arms. Then he shuddered and gagged. Kratos pulled Lloyd into his chest and staggered up onto the bank, sinking to his knees when he touched dry land.
The leader stared, his threats frozen in his throat. Kratos had forgotten about him, until now.
Lloyd clutched the front of his father’s shirt with his tiny fists and coughed and spat water. He was shaking uncontrollably and trying to cry, which made him choke even harder. Kratos held him and rubbed his back.
The bandit took a step back and tripped over the body of one of his friends.
Kratos wanted nothing more than to hack him into tiny pieces. But even if he reclaimed his sword, he knew he couldn’t take revenge – he wouldn’t fight with Lloyd in his arms, and he wouldn’t leave his son alone in his terror.
So he settled for a stony glare, putting every ounce of the hate he felt into one word: “Run.”
The bandit fumbled with his pocket, he pulled out a small bad and tossed it onto the ground in front of him. It took a moment for Kratos to even register what it was.
It was the gald.
The bandit turned tail and disappeared into the forest. Kratos watched until he was sure he was gone, and then he looked down.
Lloyd’s coughing grew quieter, and he peered up anxiously. “P—Papa?”
Kratos brushed the sopping hair out of Lloyd’s eyes. “What is it?”
The boy’s face crumpled and he burst into hysterics.
“Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa,” he sobbed. “Papa I’m s—s—sorry Papa I didn’t mean to and Papa I—I promise I didn’t I didn’t—”
Kratos rubbed his back some more. “It’s alright.”
“—it’s that I’m b—bad and they came and it’s why—they came and they said—” He cut himself off with a shudder and hyperventilated for several seconds.
“Lloyd, stop.”
“—hurt Mama and hurt Papa and—Papa Papa I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it and—Papa Papa Papa I’m sorry please Papa please don’t go.”
The pain in Kratos’ back was returning now, in full force, as were a number of injuries the adrenaline had allowed him to ignore. If Lloyd wasn’t hurt, he was certainly traumatized; Anna would require healing as soon as it oculd be managed. Kratos had failed on every level imaginable – as a husband, as a father, even as a mercenary.
But Kratos kept the guilt and the worry off his face when he smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”
*
“Is he still sleeping?”
Anna nodded. She decided not to comment on the fact that Kratos had asked the same question three times in the past five minutes, just as she hadn’t commented when, upon his return, Kratos had so hastily handed her their son without a word. He’d said very little at all, actually, and nothing of substance – Anna had no idea why Lloyd was soaking wet, or why he was sleeping so deeply in her arms, but for the moment, she was too glad he was breathing and unharmed to push Kratos too hard for answers.
Now that he was done casting a mild healing spell, he was roughly shoving their things back into their pack. Anna watched him from across the clearing, perched on a tree stump. “Kratos,” she said, quietly. “Thank you.”
He kept working, without looking up. “I apologize,” he said.
Anna sighed. She let her hand move over Lloyd’s hair as her eyes drifted shut, finally feeling the weariness of the day set in. “That’s hardly the response I expected,” she said.
“I left you alone, and for that, I’m sorry.”
She opened her eyes. “You’re kidding,” she said. “Tell me, Kratos, do you ever get tired, blaming yourself for absolutely everything?”
He said nothing.
“You don’t have to answer me, I know you do. Anyone would.” She let her irritation, even her anger, color her voice. “Yes, I was injured, but I’ve suffered far worse, and you know that. You protected your family. You saved Lloyd.” She shifted so she could hold Lloyd with only one arm, and she pressed a hand to her temple. “And he still loves you, no matter what twisted notion you’ve convinced yourself of in the last hour or so.”
Kratos glanced up, and fixed her with a long and even stare. Then, finally, “You should rest.”
“Please spare me.” Anna looked away, because she couldn’t stand seeing what wasn’t on his face. “You think I need you so much – but I can take care of myself.”
“I know.”
“You do? How can I tell?”
Again, he didn’t answer, but Anna recognized this silence as the same silence she’d noted this morning – he was collecting his thoughts. After a moment, he put down their things and walked across the clearing, hesitating before he crouched down in front of her. “Look at me,” he said.
She did.
“You’re stronger than I am,” he said, speaking slowly and deliberately. “I need you. If anything happened to you…” His gaze drifted downward, towards the sleeping boy, and Anna would have sworn she saw him repress a shudder. “… or Lloyd, I’d have nothing left.”
“I know that,” she said. “You don’t think I feel the same way?”
“Perhaps,” he said, smiling faintly. It was an expression that conveyed no happiness; instead, it left Anna chillingly aware of how old he truly was. “But it’s not the same,” he said.
She frowned, unconsciously moving to hold Lloyd tighter. “I don’t understand.”
“You don’t have to.” He stood up, and held out a hand to help her to her feet. “I’m not even sure I want you to.”
Anna took his hand, and after she was standing she didn’t let him go, giving his fingers a squeeze. He stood there stiffly, as though he was resigned to accept her affected, but he didn’t let her go. “Kratos,” she said. “About Lloyd, and…” She let her sentence trail off.
“Forget I said anything, before. I make a mistake.”
She smiled, and impulsively leaned up to kiss him lightly. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. For me.”
He looked surprised, but only for a moment. “I’ll … try.”
“You won’t regret it,” she said, fondly, taking her hand back so she could hold Lloyd properly as she walked. “He’s only three. Think of everything we’d miss.”
The road from Asgard to Luin was a long one – and it was just one leg of a very long journey that was taking them all the way north to Iselia. But regardless of that, of all of it, Anna walked beside Kratos with a lighter heart than she’d had in a very long time.
*
Fandom: Tales of Symphonia
Rating: PG13
Words: 5600
Summary: [one shot] Pre-game; on the road to Luin, the Aurion family’s trip takes a detour.
Author’s Notes: The first part of this was written years ago, I edited it for typos and attempted to write the last scene in the same (honestly, kind of
*
To say the road from Asgard to Luin was long would be a terrible understatement; to say the trip was arduous would be closer to the fact. Anna had spent more of the past several years on such journeys, she was well used to traveling with husband and son.
But there were days when it was… tiring.
Days like today, when nearly two hours of blessed silence were about to come to a close.
The child was slow to wake; he blinked slowly and yawned. “I wanna be down.” Getting no response, he frowned. “Papa, let me dooooown.”
Lloyd had started the morning off cheerful and well behaved. After the first mile and a half, his energy waned and he’d started dragging his feet. Kratos had picked him up, ignoring protests that Lloyd could walk by himself, and the boy had cried bitterly about the unfairness of the world for ten straight minutes before falling asleep on his father’s shoulder.
Where he’d stayed, until now. “Let me down.” Lloyd squirmed and shoved, and just for emphasis, whined, “Doooooown.”
The sound set off Noishe, who started barking at the spectacle, and Anna and Kratos both had to stop to sort the situation out. Anna scratched the animal behind the ears while Kratos struggled to pin Lloyd’s pinwheeling arms – without success. Exasperated, he set the child on the ground. “Stay near,” he warned.
Lloyd nodded, and then he darted off to the left. Anna caught his hand as he ran past.
“Near is here, honey,” she said.
“No.”
“Lloyd.”
“No!”
Kratos scowled, glanced up and down the path. Even this small delay was trying his nerves, and that was worth noting. His patience rarely wore so thin. “He’s too loud.”
“We left at dawn,” Anna said. “He’s tired.”
“He’s old enough to control himself.”
“Some of us do need sleep, Kratos.”
It was a comment her husband did not appreciate; he clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. “There is a House of Salvation we will reach before dark, if we keep moving.”
“And we will.” Still holding Lloyd’s hand, she knelt down. “Honey, if you run too far away, you might get hurt.”
Lloyd looked doubtful “How?”
“One can only imagine,” Kratos said, darkly. “Anna, arguing with him is a pointless exercise we do not—”
Anna silenced him with a look, then turned back to Lloyd. “There are bad animals. There might be bad people.” She squeezed his hand. “Will you promise to walk by us?”
Lloyd thought about that, his little brow furrowed. Then he nodded. “I wanna walk by Mama,” he said. “Papa’s mean.”
“Very true,” Kratos replied.
Anna sighed. She had more control than a child of barely three, but she was also operating on precious little sleep and was starting to feel the strain. Lloyd upset, Noishe whining in her ear, and now Kratos snapping at every little thing – it was getting to be too much. “That’s not true,” she said. “Apologize, Lloyd.”
Lloyd jerked free and ran several meters up the path. Noishe bounded after him, and Lloyd cheerfully pet the animal and pointedly ignored both of his parents.
“Lloyd…” Anna started forward, but Kratos shook his head.
“Let him be,” he said.
Lloyd was bored with that activity in another instant, and he began walking an imaginary tightrope, extending his arms to his sides. “Put-ah-put-ah-put-ah—”
Anna could see Kratos cringe, either at Lloyd’s antics or Noishe’s noisy accompaniment, but neither of them said anything as they fell into step behind the boy. Kratos’ eyes never once left Lloyd, who kept casting sullen glances back at his father and jerking back around every time he was caught at it.
Anna looked at Kratos for a long moment, and then she laughed lightly. “He hurt your feelings, didn’t he?”
Kratos snorted. “He’s just a child.”
“Yes, but he’s yours.”
Kratos opened his mouth and shut it again.
“Kratos, tell me what’s wrong.” If he took that as a request, then he hadn’t known her long enough.
He was silent for a long moment, Anna recognized that he was collecting his thoughts and she gave him the time he needed. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm and deliberate. “The House of Salvation is a small community. We can rest there for some time.”
She waited.
“It’s a place devoted to helping people in need.”
Anna suspected she knew that better than him – Kratos certainly understood the mechanics of the Church of Martel, but for the most part he seemed strangely out of touch with the religion he had helped author. “Yes,” she said, forcing a patience she didn’t really feel. “I know.”
“They will take children.”
At first she was sure she had misheard him, and then she was sure she had just misunderstood. But the look on his face told her everything she needed to know. “No—Kratos, no. How could you even think—”
“Anna, people are trying to kill us. You and I. We’re putting him in danger everyday.”
“Is that why you’re being so nasty? Do you think he won’t care that you’ve gone?”
Guilt flashed across his face, and she wished she could take her words back. “I’m not sure there’s another way,” he said.
Anna shook her head. “I can’t live with him thinking we didn’t want him.”
“And I can’t live with him dead.”
“Kratos, we can’t just abandon our son.”
“We are not—” Kratos stopped short.
Anna followed his downward gaze, realized that Lloyd had stopped walking and was now standing at Kratos’ feet, that in the midst of their argument they hadn’t noticed their own rising voices – or anything else.
Lloyd stared up at them, looking so helpless and so hurt Anna knew that even he hadn’t understood their entire conversation, he’d managed to catch enough.
“Lloyd…” She knelt down.
He spun around and went tearing off into the forest.
“Lloyd, stop!” Kratos started a second too late, before he could reach him the boy had vanished into the dense line of tree. Anna jumped to her feet and followed them both.
“Lloyd!” Kratos barked, staring into the woods, then he jerked around. “Noishe—” But Noishe was nowhere to be seen. “Where is that damn—”
“Kratos…” Anna didn’t have his vision but she peered into the trees anyway. There was no glimpse of a red shirt or brown hair, and she couldn’t hear anything except the bubbling of the river than ran nearby.
“We’ll search separately,” Kratos said. “Once we find him—”
“We have to talk to him about—”
“I know,” he said, and he started off without another word.
*
Papa could hear real real well – Lloyd knew because whenever he tried to hide before Papa always found him, really fast. But this time he would be still and be quiet. Maybe so quiet they would never find him, and then they would be so sorry.
Or not.
Lloyd shut his eyes and huddled at the base of the big huge tree he’d found. It was near the river and he knew that was bad because rivers were Not Safe. Mama and Papa thought everything was Not Safe and Lloyd couldn’t go anywhere by himself because of the Not Safe plants and Not Safe animals and the bad people that were hiding everywhere.
He didn’t really understand but he knew that Papa wanted to go away and maybe take Mama with him – and they would go away and he would be alone and maybe the bad people would come again and he would maybe even die.
His eyes started hurting and he started breathing real fast but he couldn’t cry because then Papa would find him and—
“Lloyd! Lloyd!”
That was Papa. He sounded so so mad.
Lloyd shrank against the tree and tried to be really small and wished Noishe was here too, but he’d run away when Lloyd was running too and now he wasn’t anywhere. Papa was coming and smashing down plants and saying words Lloyd got in trouble for copying one time, and just when Lloyd was just sure he was going to be found and in trouble, Papa stopped walking.
“Lloyd,” he said. He was close, probably. Lloyd didn’t know if he was real real close because the river was too loud to hear good. “Lloyd, I’m not angry.”
Even if he was really not mad and was really not lying Lloyd was going to stay hiding.
“Lloyd, please come out.”
Lloyd covered his mouth with his hands and wished his Papa would go away.
It took a long time, but Papa took a step back, and after another long time he’d gone back the way he came from. Lloyd waited until it was all quiet, and then he fell back against the tree and sighed. And then he cringed, because maybe Papa could hear.
But he didn’t come back.
When he was sure Papa wasn’t coming back ever, Lloyd stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants and his shirt and it didn’t even matter if he was dirty, because now he was running away and no one would be telling him to wash his face all the time.
He didn’t know how he was going to live now but maybe the forest would be okay, if the monsters didn’t eat him or anything. He never saw any monsters before so maybe there weren’t any monsters and Mama and Papa just made that up so they—so they—
His eyes were burning again and he almost didn’t hear the walking noises behind him. He did hear it, though, and he turned round as fast as he could.
“Noishe!”
It was hard to be sad when Noishe was licking him on his face and on his arms, and Lloyd fell down. Noishe kept licking him.
“Noishe, stop it!” Lloyd giggled, and he was still sad, but Noishe kept licking him and he couldn’t stop laughing anyway. “Noishe!”
Noishe barked, right in Lloyd’s ear, and jumped up.
“Lloyd!”
That was Mama, and she already saw him so he couldn’t go and hide or anything. Well, he could, but that’d be stupid. Noishe ran over there as soon as he could see her, barking and his tail wagging. He wanted petting but Mama was ignoring him.
Lloyd rubbed his face where Noishe drool was stuck on it. “Hi, Mama,” he said real quiet, looking at the ground and not at her face.
Mama was real fast. She walked over and picked Lloyd up and he hated that, but he knew he couldn’t get away. “Don’t do that,” Mama said, and she sounded so mad, too. “Lloyd, don’t ever do that.”
Lloyd already knew he was being Not Safe. “Sorry.” His eyes kept burning, and this time he couldn’t help it. He started crying.
He thought Mama would yell more, but she touched his hair and face and hugged him. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she said. “I’m not mad at you, I was worried.”
Lloyd cried harder. “But I s—saw Papa, he s—s—said—”
“Your father isn’t mad at you, honey, he’s upset because of something else.”
Lloyd sniffed. “How come?” he asked even if he didn’t care, he was only wondering.
Mama looked at him, and then she closed her eyes. “Lloyd…”
“Well, you two certainly aren’t traveling alone.”
Mama jumped.
Lloyd didn’t hear anyone coming but there were people here anyway, lots of people, he counted and he saw seven. The one talking was the tallest one, he was standing in front and they all had swords like Papa’s except not like fire. “Well,” he said. “Should I keep an eye out for a party? Maybe a husband?”
Mama was hugging him so much he couldn’t even breathe, and she used her mad voice when she said, “Stay away from us.”
The tall man smiled.
Lloyd wanted them to go away, if Mama wanted them to go so did he. “Who are you guys?” he said, and he made his maddest face.
The tall man smiled more.
*
Anna could defend herself but knew she was no match for seven armed men; the struggle wasn’t much to speak of. The bandits ripped Lloyd out of her arms in a moment and had a sword at her neck before she could call for help.
One of them, obviously their leader, stepped forward and looked her over with interest. He was tall, not the strongest by any means. but he had a look of calculating intelligence the others lacked. “Hmm,” he said. “Should I be worried?”
“Yes,” she answered, her voice flat.
“Lemme go, lemme go!”
Lloyd was a ball of flailing arms and legs, he was kicking and biting and screaming his head off. One man was trying to hold him down and another was trying to grab his legs – the second man’s head snapped back when Lloyd landed a solid kick in the face.
He stumbled back, holding his bleeding nose. “Son of a—”
“Just—gag him or something!”
Anna tensed. “Give him back to me,” she said. “I’ll—”
The leader waved her off. “I’ll handle this, lady,” he said, smiling calmly, reassuringly. He stepped forward, narrowly avoiding Lloyd’s fierce kicks, and slapped the boy across the face.
“Stop it!” The sword kept Anna in place, the tip of the blade biting into her neck.
Lloyd had never been hit in his life, no matter how badly he behaved. He fell silent and still, his eyes wide in shock. He wasn’t even crying, anymore.
The leader stepped back. “There,” he said. “Problem solved.”
Anna was shaking with rage, and she knew her captors would take that for fear. She didn’t care. “Honey, it’s okay, everything’s okay,” she said, doing her best to swallow her anger, and keep her voice reassuring. “Can you stay still for me?”
Lloyd sniffed and nodded.
“Well,” the leader said. “Shall we wait?”
Anna glared.
“Boss!”
The cry came from the bandit furthest away, and the edge of the clearing. The entire group jerked around just in time to see the man go down in a bloody mess, slashes across his chest and throat.
Kratos stepped forward, holding Flamberge and wearing an expression so cold it gave Anna chills.
The leader paled slightly, and scratched the back of his head. “That was quick,” he muttered, almost to himself.
Kratos took a few menacing steps. “Let them go.”
“Stop!” The leader gestured at Lloyd, at Anna. The blade at her neck was very nearly drawing blood. “Drop the sword,” he said. “Or we’ll kill them.”
Kratos didn’t move to obey, but he didn’t move forward, either. Nothing on his face betrayed any conflict; he seemed to be calmly observing the situation as his eyes passed back and forth. Anna knew he was torn. Kratos could easily defeat the men here, he’d already killed one of them with little effort. But she wasn’t sure he could kill them before they made good on their promise.
She couldn’t say what the best decision was. She didn’t know.
“Drop it!”
Kratos stared at the leader for several long seconds, and then he tossed his weapon on the ground.
The bandits visibly relaxed, chuckling among themselves, as if being unarmed meant Kratos was harmless. “Now,” the leader said. “I’m sure you have some valuables in that pack of yours. Mind sharing?”
“If you harm them…” Kratos started.
The leader cocked his head, and Anna saw something move in the corner of her eye.
“Anna!”
Red flashed across her vision and she stumbled to her knees – it took a moment to register she’d been hit. Instinctively, she reached up to touch her temple, and gasped at the pain. Her fingers came away bloody.
Lloyd started struggling again, tears were running down his face. “—you hurt Mama, you hurt Mama—”
“Lloyd!” Kratos barked.
Lloyd stopped kicking, stopped shrieking, stopped everything.
“Now,” the leader said, but Kratos was already reaching for his shoulder straps.
The pack contained everything the family owned; Kratos threw it on the ground without hesitation. The value of the smaller bag that followed was much more substantial – that contained all of their gald. It was enough to purchase a mansion, and it hit the ground with a heavy clank.
The bandits hesitated, their eyes fixed on the loot.
Kratos scowled. “Take it all.”
That’s all they needed.
Anna tried to watch them as they moved, but her vision was blurring and the blood was coming fast, trickling down her neck and staining her shirt. She had a concussion, certainly. If that was the worst thing to happen today, they’d be lucky.
“Boss?”
Anna looked up.
The leader was standing stock still as the other men riffled through the heavy pack, tossing aside useless things like clothing and small jars of food. The bag of money was resting in his hand, and he was thinking.
“Boss?” one of the men asked again, sounding uncertain.
The leader shoved the bag into his pocket, his eyes on his dead companion, lying still at the edge of the clearing. “Let’s go,” he snapped. “This is all we need. Take the sword.”
The men stepped back, taking the sword with them. “Yeah, sure,” one of them said. He moved to put Lloyd down, and Anna felt like crying in relief.
“No.” The leader shook his head. “We’re taking him.”
Anna’s breath caught in her throat. “You can’t—no.” She tried to push herself to her feet and failed miserably, the fall jolted her from her knees to her spine. “Kratos, stop them—you can’t let them—”
“What good do you think that will do you?” Kratos asked, his voice so cold, his face completely blank.
The leader shrugged. “It’s a lot of gald,” he said, as if that explained everything. Did he really think Kratos would risk their lives to recover the money? “Don’t follow us, and we’ll drop the brat off in the next town.”
Kratos said nothing.
“Do follow us, and, well.”
Kratos didn’t say a thing. He was silent when Lloyd broke out into loud, uneven sobs; he was silent as the bandits started vanishing, disappearing into the trees just as quickly as they’d come. In a moment, Lloyd was out of earshot.
Anna couldn’t believe how fast it was over. She felt numb. She struggled to stand again, and didn’t even notice Kratos was beside her until he put his hands on her shoulders.
“Let me see that,” he said.
She jerked away, and lost her balance. She would have fallen if Kratos hadn’t caught her, gently lowering her back to her knees.
“You’re badly hurt.”
She knew that. It’s why she didn’t resist when Kratos tilted her head to get a better look at the wound, it’s why she didn’t protest when he pressed a soft cloth to her skull. Instead, she hissed.
“The pain should pass.”
He was speaking with such calm deliberation, as if nothing was the matter. She couldn’t understand his reaction. In fact, she hadn’t understood anything he’d done in the last few minutes, and that realization was all it took for her to direct all the anger she felt onto him.
“Why didn’t you stop them?” she demanded.
“You could have been killed.”
“And you think that matters?”
“I do.” He fell silent, dabbing at the cut on her temple. She couldn’t even tell if it was still bleeding. “I’ve made many mistakes over this past hour,” he said, finally. “You are right to blame me.”
And just like that, her anger faded. She looked away. “No, I wasn’t.”
Kratos sat back. “Can you hold this here?” he asked, referring to the makeshift bandage.
She nodded, ignoring how the motion jarred her head, and she replaced his hand with her own. The cloth was warm with her blood, and the feeling was a little sickening.
“I think I’ve given them long enough,” he said, standing, and for the first time, she saw clear hesitation on his face. “Anna, I promise—”
She cut him off. “Kratos, I know you’ll do everything in your power to get him back. You don’t have to swear a thing.”
He nodded, and turned his head. “Noishe!” he called.
The animal poked his head around a tree, his ears folded back. Anna hadn’t even noticed that he’d run away – not that she blamed him. He was an intelligent creature, but there’d been nothing he could do.
“Noishe, stay with Anna. I’ll… I’ll return soon.”
“Be careful,” Anna said.
He looked like he wanted to say something. Instead, he turned and walked straight into the forest.
Anna sighed.
Noishe rubbed his nose up against her face. He whimpered, and wagged his tail. His wide eyes looked far more expressive than most people, maybe even Kratos, would give him credit for.
She reached up, and scratched the creature behind the ears. “You can follow him,” she said. “I won’t tell.”
*
Kratos had no immediate plan. This bothered him immensely, as did the fact that he wasn’t thinking clearly enough to come up with one. He thought he could hear the group moving, perhaps a few minutes ahead of him, though the noise of the damned river was drowning out nearly everything.
He had probably passed within a few feet of Lloyd only minutes ago. If he’d managed to find him then, this wouldn’t have happened.
Then again, if he hadn’t caused Lloyd to run off in the first place…
Kratos set his jaw and moved forward.
He had no idea how he intended to fight them without a sword. His magic would help, and he knew how to fight with his fists – however, his odds would be best if he had the element of surprise. If he was lucky, he might manage to take a weapon from one of his opponents.
Kratos was not often lucky.
Perhaps that was why he was surprised to catch up with them so quickly.
He had no idea why they would decide to take a break so quickly, but there they were – the six of them standing at the bank of the river, talking quietly amongst themselves. Lloyd was, of course, crying inconsolably.
Their apparent leader, a tall, slender man who carried no weapons himself, was talking the loudest. Not loud enough for Kratos to make out what he was saying, but he kept gesturing at Lloyd and the man carrying him.
Kratos had no doubts that they intended to kill the boy. If he was going to act, it would have to be now.
He stepped into the clearing, chanting under his breath. By the time they heard him, and jerked around, it was too late.
“Grave!”
A pillar of earth that emerged from the ground didn’t hit anyone, but that hadn’t been his intention. It showered the bandits with dirt and rocks, it confused and disoriented them.
Kratos ran forward.
He was faster than these men and much, much stronger. He grabbed the sword arm of the one nearest to him and twisted, disarming the bandit would be simple, and then—
“Papa!”
He knew it was a trick. And he still looked.
He didn’t know what they’d done to Lloyd to make him scream like that. He didn’t have a chance to figure it out, either, because that was the moment they stabbed him in the back.
It wasn’t a deep wound. It still caused him to stumble forward, and the men quickly converged on him, dragging him down and using their weight to hold him there. He struggled to push himself out, despite the sword still twisting in his back, but he knew it was no use. It wasn’t a deep wound, but his strength was running out with his blood.
The leader crouched down in front of him, and sat back on his heels. “Strange,” he said. “You don’t look like a half-elf.”
Kratos didn’t bother correcting him.
“I told you what would happen if you followed.”
Suddenly, he didn’t even notice the pain in his back – it’d been replaced with the sick sinking feeling in his chest. He could threaten them, he could try to bargain, he could even beg. He knew it wouldn’t change anything.
“I’ll kill you all,” he growled, and that was different. It was a promise.
The leader raised his eyebrow. “Interesting,” he said, and then he turned his head. “Anis?”
“Yeah, boss?” The man was awkwardly holding Lloyd as far away from himself as he could manage.
The leader stood. “Drown his brat in the river.”
The silence stretched out to nearly a minute.
“Boss?” Anis asked.
“You heard me.”
Anis hesitated, and then he walked down to the water. He paused again, clearly not sure about how to go about this. Then he waded into the shallow water and got down onto his knees.
Kratos watched as a kicking screaming sobbing helpless child that was his son was shoved under the water.
“No!” he yelled, and in his head that was all he could hear. No no no no no – his struggles started again, the sword was shoved deeper into his back and that didn’t matter. What mattered was the scene playing out in front of his eyes in slow motion and terrible silence.
He was watching Lloyd die.
A branch snapped behind them.
Someone was coming. Kratos jerked his head around as far as he was able, and he caught sight of green and cyan fur.
“What the hell is that?!” someone shouted.
Noishe snarled, and leapt forward.
Kratos felt the weight on his shoulders lift as the men jumped – he shoved off the ground and onto his feet. One of the bandits might have slashed him, he couldn’t even tell.
He reached out and grabbed the first weapon he saw, and wrenched it away to the sound of breaking bone.
“What are you doing?!” the leader shouted.
Kratos didn’t pay him the slightest attention.
The four men were dead before they hit the ground. Kratos paused only long enough to make sure they weren’t getting up again, then he started for the bank.
Anis was still kneeling, his eyes and mouth were wide open. “Wait—” he started.
His head sailed down the river, his body slumped under the surface.
Kratos threw the sword behind him and plunged his hands into the river. In a moment he pulled Lloyd up.
For an awful moment, the boy was lay still in his arms. Then he shuddered and gagged. Kratos pulled Lloyd into his chest and staggered up onto the bank, sinking to his knees when he touched dry land.
The leader stared, his threats frozen in his throat. Kratos had forgotten about him, until now.
Lloyd clutched the front of his father’s shirt with his tiny fists and coughed and spat water. He was shaking uncontrollably and trying to cry, which made him choke even harder. Kratos held him and rubbed his back.
The bandit took a step back and tripped over the body of one of his friends.
Kratos wanted nothing more than to hack him into tiny pieces. But even if he reclaimed his sword, he knew he couldn’t take revenge – he wouldn’t fight with Lloyd in his arms, and he wouldn’t leave his son alone in his terror.
So he settled for a stony glare, putting every ounce of the hate he felt into one word: “Run.”
The bandit fumbled with his pocket, he pulled out a small bad and tossed it onto the ground in front of him. It took a moment for Kratos to even register what it was.
It was the gald.
The bandit turned tail and disappeared into the forest. Kratos watched until he was sure he was gone, and then he looked down.
Lloyd’s coughing grew quieter, and he peered up anxiously. “P—Papa?”
Kratos brushed the sopping hair out of Lloyd’s eyes. “What is it?”
The boy’s face crumpled and he burst into hysterics.
“Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa,” he sobbed. “Papa I’m s—s—sorry Papa I didn’t mean to and Papa I—I promise I didn’t I didn’t—”
Kratos rubbed his back some more. “It’s alright.”
“—it’s that I’m b—bad and they came and it’s why—they came and they said—” He cut himself off with a shudder and hyperventilated for several seconds.
“Lloyd, stop.”
“—hurt Mama and hurt Papa and—Papa Papa I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it and—Papa Papa Papa I’m sorry please Papa please don’t go.”
The pain in Kratos’ back was returning now, in full force, as were a number of injuries the adrenaline had allowed him to ignore. If Lloyd wasn’t hurt, he was certainly traumatized; Anna would require healing as soon as it oculd be managed. Kratos had failed on every level imaginable – as a husband, as a father, even as a mercenary.
But Kratos kept the guilt and the worry off his face when he smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”
*
“Is he still sleeping?”
Anna nodded. She decided not to comment on the fact that Kratos had asked the same question three times in the past five minutes, just as she hadn’t commented when, upon his return, Kratos had so hastily handed her their son without a word. He’d said very little at all, actually, and nothing of substance – Anna had no idea why Lloyd was soaking wet, or why he was sleeping so deeply in her arms, but for the moment, she was too glad he was breathing and unharmed to push Kratos too hard for answers.
Now that he was done casting a mild healing spell, he was roughly shoving their things back into their pack. Anna watched him from across the clearing, perched on a tree stump. “Kratos,” she said, quietly. “Thank you.”
He kept working, without looking up. “I apologize,” he said.
Anna sighed. She let her hand move over Lloyd’s hair as her eyes drifted shut, finally feeling the weariness of the day set in. “That’s hardly the response I expected,” she said.
“I left you alone, and for that, I’m sorry.”
She opened her eyes. “You’re kidding,” she said. “Tell me, Kratos, do you ever get tired, blaming yourself for absolutely everything?”
He said nothing.
“You don’t have to answer me, I know you do. Anyone would.” She let her irritation, even her anger, color her voice. “Yes, I was injured, but I’ve suffered far worse, and you know that. You protected your family. You saved Lloyd.” She shifted so she could hold Lloyd with only one arm, and she pressed a hand to her temple. “And he still loves you, no matter what twisted notion you’ve convinced yourself of in the last hour or so.”
Kratos glanced up, and fixed her with a long and even stare. Then, finally, “You should rest.”
“Please spare me.” Anna looked away, because she couldn’t stand seeing what wasn’t on his face. “You think I need you so much – but I can take care of myself.”
“I know.”
“You do? How can I tell?”
Again, he didn’t answer, but Anna recognized this silence as the same silence she’d noted this morning – he was collecting his thoughts. After a moment, he put down their things and walked across the clearing, hesitating before he crouched down in front of her. “Look at me,” he said.
She did.
“You’re stronger than I am,” he said, speaking slowly and deliberately. “I need you. If anything happened to you…” His gaze drifted downward, towards the sleeping boy, and Anna would have sworn she saw him repress a shudder. “… or Lloyd, I’d have nothing left.”
“I know that,” she said. “You don’t think I feel the same way?”
“Perhaps,” he said, smiling faintly. It was an expression that conveyed no happiness; instead, it left Anna chillingly aware of how old he truly was. “But it’s not the same,” he said.
She frowned, unconsciously moving to hold Lloyd tighter. “I don’t understand.”
“You don’t have to.” He stood up, and held out a hand to help her to her feet. “I’m not even sure I want you to.”
Anna took his hand, and after she was standing she didn’t let him go, giving his fingers a squeeze. He stood there stiffly, as though he was resigned to accept her affected, but he didn’t let her go. “Kratos,” she said. “About Lloyd, and…” She let her sentence trail off.
“Forget I said anything, before. I make a mistake.”
She smiled, and impulsively leaned up to kiss him lightly. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. For me.”
He looked surprised, but only for a moment. “I’ll … try.”
“You won’t regret it,” she said, fondly, taking her hand back so she could hold Lloyd properly as she walked. “He’s only three. Think of everything we’d miss.”
The road from Asgard to Luin was a long one – and it was just one leg of a very long journey that was taking them all the way north to Iselia. But regardless of that, of all of it, Anna walked beside Kratos with a lighter heart than she’d had in a very long time.
*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-11-22 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-22 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-22 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-23 09:19 am (UTC)My favorite part of this story was the beginning for a couple reasons. (I really loved the whole story!-- but I wanna talk about this part.) I love the strife between the characters. People who write Aurion family fics often seem to portray only the happiest times; I never hear Anna and Kratos have a serious argument, or Anna express so much aggravation about things. It always seems like she's characterized as a saint, you know? I love the realness you've given Anna. ♥ And I love seeing the parents frustrated with Lloyd. XD He was definitely a difficult child for them, I'm sure.
I don't think I have any critique to give. ^^ This is just an all-around great story~ Oh, and the section in Lloyd's POV, despite being a bit difficult to understand (though I imagine you did that on purpose), was freaking adorable! ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-11-24 06:47 am (UTC)Lloyd's "maddest face" was the best thing ever, despite the tension of that particular passage. So cute! <3
no subject
Date: 2008-11-24 10:11 pm (UTC)Man, that was really, really good. Heartbreaking and then sweet at the end and then the horribleness of that ending hits you and ow. ;A; But overall it was really fantastic.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-24 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-25 11:36 pm (UTC)Seconding the hope that you continue to write more about them. =)