rocknload | we toss and turn but don't sleep

I've been so wiped out for the last few days, I actually passed out while I was watching the instruments the other day—I've been known to doze off in the back of my dad's truck, but even though I'm asleep I'm generally alert enough to wake up in case someone tries to touch the equipment, or back into it with their truck, or walk up to me or wave their hands in front of my face or whatever. This time I was freakin' asleep, my dad walked up to me and whacked me in the back of the head before I snapped out of it.

I think I've made enough money to cover my bills for the rest of the summer, now I'm trying to grab some cash to save for the next school year, because I'm starting to accept that realistically, while taking so many classes, keeping my GPA up or possibly even raising it, and possibly doing some independent study for one of the professors, I won't be able to have a job. I still have my ridiculous, childish goal of getting myself an Xbox 360, so I can still play and chat with everyone in Flagstaff, but we'll see. I've been sort of an irresponsible shit about the financial aid thing, not to mention my need for an apartment, my volunteer work, my antibiotics and ... there's something else, too. I blame getting so sick I couldn't get out of bed for a week and a fucking half throwing off all my plans but I don't know, maybe I just suck.

If I do study abroad at all, it'll have to be next summer, which means I have to start finding money and applying and crap.

Every day I spend just fucking around instead of being useful, I'm just screwing myself over worse.