pizza is serious fucking business, seriously;

[rocknload]

A few minutes ago, a man tried to make off with my last slice of pizza. I grabbed a cookbook off the kitchen table and lobbed it as hard as I could at that son of a bitch's head. Alas, I missed, but after I chased him into a storage closet and pounded on the door for a minute, shouting obscenities and death threats, he relinquished the slice.

What was left of it.

My brother is a fucking bastard.