pizza is serious fucking business, seriously;

[rocknload]

A few minutes ago, a man tried to make off with my last slice of pizza. I grabbed a cookbook off the kitchen table and lobbed it as hard as I could at that son of a bitch's head. Alas, I missed, but after I chased him into a storage closet and pounded on the door for a minute, shouting obscenities and death threats, he relinquished the slice.

What was left of it.

My brother is a fucking bastard.

Comments

[unicorn]

Serves you right for not being badass enough to nail his shirt to the door with a throwing knife.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

He keeps looking at my Corona. I just might get to try that.

[unicorn]

Severing his brachial artery loses points unless you do some smarmy grandstanding first.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I am very good at grandstanding, so I am certain to avoid that penalty!

[unicorn]

Warn him first! So EVEN IF HE SEES IT COMING...

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I think the death threats were warning enough! Not to mention that I nearly destroyed stuff when I threw that book at him. I was actually trying to hit him!

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

FOOD IS ALWAYS SRS BUSINESS. D:< Srsly.

One time I got in trouble with my grandfather for that. :/ The waitress had JUST brought out our food- I hadn't even taken a BITE yet!- and he reached over with his fork for some of my pasta. D:< I prompted smacked his hand with my own fork. D: And then I got yelled at.

IT'S MY FOOD, NOT YOUUURS. D: We should invent forcefields to protect our munchies from hungry menfolk.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

MEN THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO EVERYTHING. WE MUST DEFEND OUR DELICIOUS FOODSTUFF WITH FORCE.

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

WOMEN AGAINST HUGRY MEN UNITE! >D

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

WE CAN ARM OURSELVES WITH CUTLERY AND RANDOM STUFF FOUND AROUND THE KITCHEN.

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

AND AFRICAN WAR CLUBS. I HAVE LIKE, FIVE. AND TRIBAL SPEARS. 8D

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

... THOSE SOUND RATHER MORE EFFECTIVE.

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

YES. THEY LOOK LIKE BOOBS ON A STICK. THEY'RE ROUND WITH POINTS TO BETTER PENETRATE THE SKULL.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

HAVE YOU TESTED THEM ON MELONS? THEY ALWAYS TEST THAT STUFF ON MELONS, IN THE MOVIES.

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

...NO. THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF MELON. I WOULDN'T EVEN EAT THE PIECES. :/ BUT I REALLY KEEP HOPING SOMEONE WILL TRY TO ATTACK ME SO I CAN SMASH THEM.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

YOU NEED TO TEST THEM ON SOMETHING. HOW CAN YOU BE SURE THEY WILL WORK?

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

THEY'RE MADE OUT OF EBONY. ._. AND REALLY TOUGH. AND THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY FROM AFRICA, FROM A TRIBE AND STUFF. :O SO I'M PRETTY SURE THEY WOOD. :)

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

THAT SOUNDS VERY IMPRESSIVE. WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?

[kerilu.livejournal.com]

MY DAD WENT TO AMERICA'S EMBASSY IN KENYA FOR HIS MILITARY JOB. HE BROUGHT/SENT BACK ALL KINDS OF STUFF. INCLUDING LIKE. GIGANTIC AMETHYST RINGS AND EARRINGS. :D IT WAS PRETTY COOL.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

DUDE, THAT"S PRETTY DAMN AWESOME. DOES HE TRAVEL TO OTHER PLACES?

[immelmanturn.livejournal.com]

CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

[technobubblegum.livejournal.com]

MY SISTER GOT THE LAST OF THE ICE CREAM. D