when you found me, and there was no one else around me;

[rocknload]

Oh, God, five hours of looking up potential jobs, and ... I-I quit. No wonder almost everyone I know is either joining the military or planning on staying in college for the next eight years or whatever. Christ.

I'll look for maybe one more hour—maybe at flight attendant information—and then I quit. I'm done. I'm going to go play some video games, walk outside. Go get some pizza. Play the piano, write some fluffy fanfiction. Something.

Alternately, I could kill myself.

Comments

[theeternalmind.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, maybe we can do a double suicide. I avoid even looking at potential jobs because it gets me so wildly depressed. And I actually graduated!

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

What method do you prefer~?

[theeternalmind.livejournal.com]

Something relatively painless? I have realized that it's actually quite difficult to kill yourself for certain if you try to make it painless, though--and even if you DON'T make it painless, because for all its squishiness, the human body can sometimes be shockingly resilient. Overdosing on sleeping pills just makes you sleep for a really long time, and it also gives people who find you the opportunity to rush you to the hospital, which really only makes your life MORE miserable because then you're saddled with bills you can't pay and mandatory psych visits you don't want. So I've thought it might be a good idea to combine methods, e.g. taking sleeping pills, and when you're about to nod off, tie a plastic bag around your head. You suffocate to death and you don't even realize it.

[theeternalmind.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that I may have freaked you out. Did I freak you out?

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

No. I'm considering the logistics of beating myself to death with my computer.

[theeternalmind.livejournal.com]

It seems to me that if you're going to do something that violent, it would be easier to pitch yourself and your computer together off the roof of some relatively tall building. In any case, beating yourself with your computer probably wouldn't work, because if you didn't get a fatal blow right away, you'd just knock yourself out. On the other hand, the insides of a monitor are highly toxic, but I'm not sure if it's "kill you instantly" toxic or not.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

It would be an ironic death, considering my mood. Also, there's not a single building in Flagstaff more than seven stories tall, and that building isn't legally allowed to be that high. I guess they can't do anything about it, now.

[theeternalmind.livejournal.com]

Seven stories is still plenty tall to inflict a fatal injury upon yourself. If you want to be absolutely certain, try landing head-first.

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

It's not high enough to guarantee it, though! I'd probably jump off a bridge or a cliff, those, we've got a lot of. Sedona does, anyway.