I can see it in their eyes—THEY'VE ALREADY DIED INSIDE.

I totally forgot about Thanksgiving until a few minutes ago and perhaps it would've been better that way, since I am stuck alone in my room with some violent six hour stomach thing—which has mostly passed, so now I'm starving but still feeling too ... too something, I don't know how to say it, too [FLAILY ARM GESTURES] to go get food plus I'm not super eager to grab something from a street stall at the moment. Also I'm pissed about missing two Chinese lessons tonight, plus I had to call into work, which was fun because nobody there really speaks English. They basically thought I was canceling for fun even though I kept trying to work the word sick into every slow, redundant sentence, until I finally thought fuck it and switched to Chinese and then they were like, "Oh~, you're sick!"

This is not even close to the worst Thanksgiving ever, though. I spent the worst Thanksgiving ever working twelve hours in the sun in Needles, California, so sick that I was probably hallucinating—I stumbled randomly around the job site, I couldn't figure out if ant hills gave their workers national holidays, I threw up repeatedly into garbage cans and the ground and into my own hair. When I finally got home I'm surprised that my family even let me in, considering I was coated in dirt, I hadn't showered in days, I was babbling incoherently about how only by dying could I be freed from this horrible agony, oh and I was covered in vomit. Somebody threw me into the shower and when I got out of it I spent the next several hours lying flat on my back on the ground and concentrated very hard on continuing to live, even though I still wasn't convinced that was actually the best course of action.

I TOLD YOU THAT STORY (AGAIN) IN ORDER TO SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER.

I FEEL CHEERED UP, ANYWAY.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!