(no subject)

[rocknload]

That cop totally thought I was drunk.

For one, I was speeding. Because ... er, no excuse, I just wanted to go fast.

Two, I forgot to put the lid on the gas can. Why? Because ten minutes earlier Chevron fucking ripped me off, and I'd just thrown a minor fit at the gas station, which included beating on the console with my fist and going, "Ten bucks for two gallons?! Jesus Christ! You fucking bastards!!" as my passengers laughed at me. Then I climbed into the cab and slammed the door without paying attention.

Three, I almost rolled into the police car, because I just bought my truck this afternoon and I'm not used to having to, say, put on the parking break to avoid such catastrophes.

When I apologized, my natural manner of speaking--"Sorry 'bout almost rollin' into ya like that."--did not further convince him of my sobriety.

I swear, he must have asked me three times if I'd been drinking. I'm surprised I didn't have to touch my nose with my hand and start saying the ABCs backwards--and good thing, because I can't actually do that and get past X. But, dude, the fact that I had three teenagers in the back of my pickup? Oh, not a big deal at all. My dad was right, that is legal around here.

I only got a warning for the speeding.

A lot happened to me today. And the fact that I worded it like that might be a little telling...

Comments

[immelmanturn.livejournal.com]

Shit, we have to be able to do the ABC's backwards?!

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I've always heard that it was part of the proving you're sober thing, but... dude, that's really hard to do. Apparently I could do it when I was eighteen months old or so, but when I was that age I had plenty of time to memorize pointless things.

[immelmanturn.livejournal.com]

Eesh. I can get as far as ZYXWVUTSR....and that's singing the song in my head.

Wait, eighteen months?

[rocknload.livejournal.com]

I was apparently a very strange child.

[immelmanturn.livejournal.com]

I'll say.